My Philosophy
As a therapist and as an empathetic human being, I know that you’re more than just your problems, and I’m not here to “fix” you. I am interested in getting to know you as a complete person and helping you figure out where you want to go. I might be the expert on counseling, but you’re the expert on you – you set the goals; you set the pace.
Therapy is an opportunity to share with another person all of the problems and challenges you’ve been struggling with. I listen empathetically and non-judgmentally so that my clients feel safe to speak honestly and openly. Just getting your thoughts and feelings out and being heard by someone can be really impactful. I help my clients clarify how they’re feeling and why so they can break out of the patterns they experience over and over.
Talking through things can help you feel better. But I believe my job isn’t to make you feel better, but to help you be better. Once you know what you want to accomplish, I give you practical tools and strategies to help you make changes in your daily life. Those changes add up over time, helping you become your best self.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Although every client is different, I do have a particular therapy style I draw from called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT has been around since the 1960’s and has been proven in studies to be an effective evidence-based treatment. The basic concept is simple: your thoughts affect your feelings and your behaviors. If you can change the way you think, you can change both the way you feel and the choices you make. New feelings and different choices reinforce your thoughts and lead to a virtuous cycle. Here’s an example:
Say you hear about an opportunity for a promotion at your job. You look at the job posting and think, “man, I’d love to have that position, but there’s no way they’d ever promote me. Everyone else has a college degree and I never finished my Associate’s.” You feel ashamed and decide not to apply. Later, you find out that your friend got the promotion, and you know they’re not as smart and motivated as you are. You think, “that’s so unfair” and feel angry, and you kick yourself for not applying. You go home and have a few drinks and an entire pizza and feel terrible the next day.
But what if we changed that original thought? Imagine if, instead of thinking that you weren’t qualified, you thought, “I’d be great at that job. Who cares that I don’t have a degree? I might have to work my butt off, but I’ll show them that I’m the best candidate.” You apply for the job, and you kill it in the interview. Now you’ve got a real shot at getting the job. Maybe you get it and maybe you don’t, but you feel proud of yourself for taking the chance and impressing your bosses.
Although we can’t always control the outcomes, how we think about our situations ends up having a huge impact on how we feel and the choices we end up making. CBT is about helping you identify the thoughts that are keeping you stuck and give you strategies to intentionally and purposefully change them.